The friend who rebukes!

An open rebuke is better than hidden love!

Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.

(Proverbs 27:5-6)

What does this mean?

When a friend or someone related, ‘rebukes’ us openly, in front of others, we feel shame and anger. We think these people are on our side and have our backs in every situation. So, a rebuke comes as a shock. But the truth is, this person is so concerned about the mess you are getting into that he or she tells you so, upfront. You’re being deceived and you don’t know it. Your friend knows it is possible that you may not believe him/her or accuse him/her of being jealous.

This is better than concealed love. Friends who didn’t warn you of the danger you are/were in, even though they knew, don’t love you, are not honest, and did not dare to tell you the truth, are not sincere.  

Verse 6 tells us that a sincere friend may have to wound you to physically prevent you from going into the snare when you didn’t listen to his rebuke. The sincere friend will go out of his way to protect you, to his harm. This is way better than the kisses, flattery, gifts, and false promises of a person who is your enemy or does not care about you.

The Lesson to learn

is to choose sincere, honest, and wise friends who care for you.

The second lesson

is to be a friend who looks out for his friends especially when they need help.

Cultivating a healthy friendship to sharpen, encourage, and bless one another is a good exercise in building relationships.  Loneliness is the number one cause of death around the world. Good and lasting relationships are worth investing in. They may save us.

A story.

When Tina told her friend Rita not to date the high school hero, Rita was offended. She felt that Tina was jealous of the attention she was getting. She did not want to miss this chance to have fun with him. He was a good sportsman and popular in school. Being his girlfriend would be the best thing for Rita. Rita started avoiding Tina till school was over.

One day, Tina met Rita working at a fast food joint. She looked sad and distant. Tina asked about her well-being and her future education plans. Rita confided in her that her relationship with the school hero was over and she was devastated when she found out she was one of his many girlfriends. Tina was sad too. She had known this and didn't want Rita to get into a relationship that would end in heartbreak. Tina told her that the breakup was the best thing to happen and that Rita should rebuild her life while being careful about who she dates. Tina had prayed for her the whole time and now they chose to be friends again. ( Names changed to protect the identity of the people in this story.)

 Shalom. May YHWH bless you with wise and loving friends who care for and encourage you. Amen.