To write about the Song of Songs and not mention romance would be missing the mark. This is the most romantic poetic book in the Bible and it speaks about two betrothed/ engaged to-be married partners who voice their undisguised love for each other. It portrays physical attraction, desire, love, and longing to be together. This Song included their wedding night in Song Chapter 7. It is a beautiful poem about lovers and love, which makes it enjoyable to read, even if it is a bit embarrassing. It leaves us wondering why this book is included in the Bible. Well, because ADONAI has approved this book. Surprisingly, ADONAI is not mentioned here.
‘I have found him whom my soul loves.’ Song 3:4 is popularly used at Christian weddings and rings a bell deep in our souls about our beloveds.
My beloved is mine and I am his; his banner over me is love, a beautiful song that originates here. The beloved is Yeshua the Messiah. Song 2:16.
The young man’s description of the woman has us laughing because 3000 years later
the imagery is so different. Yet then, it was clearly understood and acceptable. When he says that her eyes are like doves, her hair like a flock of sheep winding down the slopes of Gilead, her teeth are white like sheep with a twin, her cheeks like rosy pomegranates, and her neck like the tower of David, we are left wide-eyed. It is an exercise in imagination.
ROMANCE IN CHRISTIAN CONTEXT
It is possible to be romantic with and without love. More important is to note that the couple in the Song were already betrothed ( their legal marriage contract was agreed upon by both families and witnesses). They have to wait for the wedding celebration with the community about a year later when at the appointed time, the bride is taken to the groom's house. Besides this couple, we know of Joseph and Mary, who were waiting when Mary was found to be pregnant by the Holy Spirit. I wonder, did they also sing such songs and speak to each other lovingly?
Researchers find that the human brain can be ‘in love’ state for about two years and then it tapers off. This should lead to a deeper lasting love and relationship that can carry on to the end of life in a strong marriage. The ‘in love’ brain is on high alert with the feel-good hormones (adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin) which leads us to think this is the best place to be.
Some people feel they fall out of love when the emotional high does not keep them tingling. Then they want to find a similar experience with someone else. They break up with one partner and move on to another and another. Thus, we must recognize/ discern the Cassanova/femme Fatale; who breaks many hearts on his/her way to nowhere. Many are unfaithful within their marriage by engaging in porn or other relationships and cannot be trusted. True, they should be forgiven and be trained so that it does not happen again. But that is a difficult process for both partners in the marriage.
A Silly Joke.
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal? He thought this was a great strategy and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone. "The evening was a disaster," he moaned. "Why, didn't she come over?" asked his mother. "Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook."
RELATIONSHIPS THAT HEAL.
People who have suffered rejection and abuse are unable to love themselves. They cannot accept their beauty and often hate themselves. They carry guilt for the abuse they have suffered. They can find freedom in knowing the Truth, Yeshua the Messiah. Loving relationships can be healing when they lead to a happy marriage. On the downside, people take advantage of their vulnerability and abuse them further.
Having a romantic relationship must have two things, first is limits within the relationship before marriage, and second is the intention to marry this partner. It is better to prove oneself worthy in good friendships that eventually lead to love and marriage. This is the reason why there was a chaperone in days gone by. It is important to remember that consummation should wait till the marriage ceremony is over. Nothing is without consequences and we should be careful.
The best romantic friend is your spouse. You are legally married to him or her and are free to indulge each other within the marriage covenant. It brings fun and laughter to the relationship. I loved the gifts and yellow roses my husband would surprise me with, but more than gifts, I am committed to my man and can trust him to love me faithfully.
Prayer
May ADONAI grant you wisdom to love your partner faithfully and wisely. May your relationship be blessed to bring great joy and blessings to your family and community. May your twosome be fruitful in every way to ADONAI’S glory. Amen.
Shalom.
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